ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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