We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Damn victory sex feels great
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
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