I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Randomize
