I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
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