Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Randomize
