ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Randomize