can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
50% drunk capacity currently
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
