i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
it glows. i had to have it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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