I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
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