Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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