i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
