i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
love makes seman taste better
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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