I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
