This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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