Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
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