She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
