I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
