When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Randomize
