Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Randomize