Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize