just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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