I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
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