bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
