At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Randomize
