i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
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long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
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