I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Randomize
