Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
