I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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