too bad you live with your parents still
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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