Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Randomize
