i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize
