i just wanna soil my oats bro
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
