look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
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