Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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