I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
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