no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
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