i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
