Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
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