Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
