I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
