ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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