Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
