I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
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