There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
Randomize
