He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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