Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
I wish you could order shots online.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
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