Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Randomize
