your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
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