im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Randomize
