Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Randomize
