i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
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