the condom got lost in my hair
We named our party play list daddy issues
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
