Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Randomize
