I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
Do vagina's smell?
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
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