he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
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