I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Randomize
