i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Randomize
